People I had decided to shift my blog to www.reireikhoo.vox.com . No longer will be here =)

 Went to my brother's graduation ceremony yesterday. I wish I can be like them. Hahaha. I love the robe they were wearing. Anyway congrats brother! Few years later it shall be my turn =D I was seriously overly excited yesterday because I finally stepped out of the house after a week of quarantined!

Inside the Hall





My elder sis was not there















Mummy Daddy and their only son


Hee my turn!








Ah ma



Oops. My father asked me to try harder






I was just playing around


Brother and his gf

 Just a piece of news to share. I was playing around with youtube and found a classic song "I believe I can Fly" by Michael Air Jordan. And yes this was inspiring and at least it perked me up a little. Stay optimistic and go go fighting! I believe there will be a day when all these miseries will come to an end.

Listen to many many different songs today. There were rnb, jazz, pop, classical. Well basically I was attracted to all forms of music. One of my favourite: Jaci velasquez- Imagine me without you. Seriously I should stop listening to emo songs as what my friend called them. Can't help because they are my favourites but I do agree they affect my mood greatly. I find that my blog was quite different from the others. Their life seems to be colourful, everyday they blog about all the fascinating stuff that they do. But mine was more to my personal thoughts, emotions and actually boring. But this is me, this is my life. Is not that I'm grumbling and complaining about my life everyday but I think that this is a great way to relieve myself. I don't really share my thoughts with others, you can don't read if you don't bother. But if you do please just keep quiet and don't question me regarding to what I have written because I don't like to answer.

I saw a post on my friend's msn; If you head to sleep and never wake up, what do you regret not doing? I find this question interesting and I think my answer will be for not being a good daughter. My mama has been a great mum and shes takes really good care of me. She will always ensure that I'm fine and ok. She will be very worry if I'm sick. When I had a hard time, she was the one who helped me got it through. She takes care of my every meal just to make sure that I'm not starving. My family is the greatest gift I ever got. I really thank god for what he had given me. Every night I lie on my bed thinking; why do I have to bother about those who hurts me? I should care for those who loves me.

I'm always looking for a guy who can truly loves me and my family unconditionally. But I think this is just not possible. I don't know, I havent met one, do you? Seriously I'm very very tired of getting into a relationship. I think they were all made up of lies and nothing else. But still deep down I hope someone will change my mind one day. Love song just make me sad now =( I'm somehow jealous when I saw my friends so in love with their partner. When will it be my turn? =)

Tomorrow is my last day of quarantine. Optimisim! I can attend my brother's graduation ceremony on Tuesay! This is somehow a happy and sad piece of news for me because it just reminds me that my bioclock is ticking. Time really flies. I need and I want a time machine! I miss my childhood so badly and I really hate to grow up. If I can start everything again, seriously I think I will. It is 4 in the morning now, I shall go to bed and rest my mind. Sorry for the abrupt halt. I'm just feeling tired. Good night..

 突然又觉得好难过到快不能呼吸，，我又怎么了？不是跟自己说过别再哭，不要去想他了吗？我的心真的好痛， 似乎已变成碎片，一辈子也没办法补回了。我等的那个人，好像离我越来越远了，，你走了，，我哭了，，

 I'm never pleased with anything, i'm a perfectionist


Don't try to change my thinking, cause it won't work =)

 1)Finally agreed to perform for youth box. Location: Parkway Parade; 18, 19, 25 July. Supposed to perform on this coming saturday and sunday at Bukit Panjang Plaza but I will not be free that day so cancelled. Any suggestions on what songs to sing?I will have to prepare at least 4 different songs, humph.

2)I misssss happy so much. But I can't hug him neither nor get near him because virus is everywhere in me!Haa. I wonder if dog will 'kena' or not. He will give me a "WtF" look and tilt his head everytime he sees me because I'm wearing a mask and he think it's wierd. Haha. Today is Friday, everyone is out to enjoy except me. 3 more days to be home! Oh ya, lucky I have korean version de meteor garden to keep me in accompany. I love the phone in that drama, anyone has any idea where to get it? I prefer this than the Taiwan version of meteor garden.  Acting and looks wise are so much better =)

3)I miss BKK so much! I wonder when can be my next trip there again. Whenever I planned my trip there things happened. For example I was supposed to go on my previous school holidays which was on 1thjune to 14thjune but was cancelled due to widespread of h1n1. And then next alternative was to go on national day but was cancelled also cause sb not free. Next planned date was 24th July, BUT, my classmate told me last week that that day got exam. And lastly I wanted to go with my gf Eunice on 5th of July which was on this coming Sunday, but I kena quarantined. =.= Argh >>.<< 气死我了！！The 'heng' part is I haven book my air ticket yet.

My next attempt will be during my 5 weeks holiday on September. Wish me good luck =)

 1st day of quarantine and I feel bored already. Went to school yesterday and felt feverish in the afternoon. My classmates commented that my face was as white as paper. Everyone was joking that I had h1n1. And indeed, I went to polyclinic after school and was send to TTSH. Result: Positive=.=. My quarantine date will ends at 6th of July. I'm gonna miss ade's 21st birthday celebration on this coming Sunday. Arghhhhhh. My fever went up to 39 degree yesterday. So people, if you are not feeling well please consult the doctor. It is actually the same as common flu, just that this is a troubesome one. =¥ I have to isolate myself from my family members also. The mask makes my face very irritated also. Thanks for everyone's concern and I am feeling fine. I think I had really hit the lowest point in my life;extremely down and suay recently. Are all these fated to be? Should I succumb to fate? I doubt I wanted but I lost the courage to carry on. I had pinned too much hope on him, and now I feel totally diappointed and inconsolable. I have so many doubts with him, but he choose to remain silent. Seriously I just want an honest answer from him. Didn't he know all these are hurting me so much? Everywhere I go and everything I do reminisces me of him. Everyday I'm telling myself that I'm gonna be ok. But how long is this thing going to last? I hate what I'm going through now. Somehow I'm tried of all the mind games, maybe there will be a day when I decide to give up. Veron was right; I should be happy for him. But deep down, I feel hurt. I was once insensible and naive but now I know clearly what I'm going for. All I'm asking for is a chance.

 I think my blog can officially announce dead =¥. I really had no idea what to blog recently, my life was super uninteresting. Plus I kept emo-ing =(. Three words to describe my life: school, work, home. I felt so empty inside, no matter how hard I tried to fill it up. I think I'm gonna quit my job soon. Too much stress for me to cope. Whenever I'm free, I'm thoroughly free. Whenever I'm busy, I'm super busy. I want a more balanced lifestyle! Worst part was, I always thought singing is an optimal solution to destress and I was so wrong. I'm getting more and more fed up with all the techniques. So difficult to learn la! Nevertheless, I'm not going to give up. Singing is my passion and it will always be! I admit that I don't sing well la, but at least I'm not as thick skin as sb=D. Took part in Heeren youthbox singing competition and I was one of the finalists; sad that no photos taken, everyone had done well. They are going to organize performance on various malls for the finalists on July and I'm performing. See if you can spot me =)


Singing

方 lao shi keep complaining my singing very old style..

方 Lao shi: Ayo can you don't be so old folks anot!
Me: Oldies nice ma..=(

Yaya. I'm trying to change this old habit of mine! No more sammi cheng, kit chan, jacky cheung, william su etc. Byebye, there you all goes!


Anyway thanks for all the comments. I'm really sorry for the long disappearance. I will try to take photos of the performances or any events if possible. Swine flu is everywhere, please take good care of yourself everyone. I promise to update as often as I can =)

 To Li: May I know who you are? But anyway thanks for all the advices, I really appreciate it =) I'm still struggling on though, just hope I will be fine. And ya I've watched the movie, but perhaps for my character I'm just too stubborn. I am quite persistent in what I want. Though I understand that in life you don't always get what you want. I know I'm contradicting myself, well that's me. I love to think a lot, and I mean real lot. I am just so envious of people who are those "happy go lucky" type. I don't even recognise myself now when I look into the mirror. Where have my smiles gone to? =(

Brought to you people:
戴愛玲 - 可惜你不在
This song really relates to my feeling...

这一次
我要把长发弄乱
反正天再冷
躲不进你的胸怀
推开了你的手 泪流满腮
不怕你嘲弄 不怕你冷漠 此刻只想要耍赖
这一夜
最好先说出good bye
戏拖得太久
傻女生也会学乖
喝不下这杯酒 苦涩来得好快
让你去作梦 让你去摸索 让你与我无关
我爱 我盼
只可惜你不在
我爱上的从来只是幻影 从不存在
我爱 我盼
只可惜你不在
说好彼此要真心对待
说过的话变成了负债
不能向你讨的爱
我怎能锁在心上
说好彼此要真心对待
已经证明撞上了冰山
不能为你留的爱
我最好忘得痛快

 Sorry for not constantly updating. Have been so down recently, till the point that I do not know how to express my feelings. It seems to be unsuccessful whenever I try to console myself. I really hate myself for acting like this. I swear that I really hate to see couples on the road now. It makes me wonder are they really happily together? Do they quarrel everyday? Do they share the common thing? Do they plan for their future? Do they really understand each other?  Are they lying to each other? Do they even love each other? I didn't knew there are so many possibilities in love...but it's just too late..